Day Nine...

Omg ok so today I thought to make myself busy and well i went out with my friend ame, and misty... and well that didnt work out as planed... right in the middle of swimming, I got a nose bleed, and idk what happened... thats my 4th nose bleed in 2 months... I need to go get that checked out lol... but instead ame and I left the pool and deiced to just go home...

That made me sad about today but I MISSED HIM ON FACEBOOK AND HIS CALL.... I hate my self for that not to michen there is something wrong with his bank account and didnt put me on his account so now I need to fax my power of att. papers in to get that fixed... Idk things feel like there falling apart today... and It makes me super up set... not to michen I havent slept in most two weeks... everything is getting to me, and Idk but you think I'd be prego... and well tested twice now, and nothing... and Im going to the docs in a week to find out what is wrong with me... ever since he left, my world fell apart and I feel so lost... I know this isnt a happy post but what more can I say I missed him, and hanging out with misty and her friends, and they all had their hubbys there with them kissing and stuff, and Im just missing him so much...

I thought I was ready to get out and make friends, but really Im not and every one makes me so jealous... I never really had him for more then I want... He was only in my arms for six months... and now I have to wait seven to just even think about even seeing him again... I miss his kisses so much and most of all his voice... what I would do to hear his voice... well Im going to bed, try and get sleep though all I can ever think of is him... Am I stupid for not letting my self get out there while he's gone... or am just stupid for not trying hard enough to find something to fill my time with... God please help me...